Who’s Your BFF?

Question once asked in a job interview with dead seriousness. I felt trapped. “Just one,” I stumbled? “Yes,” Ms. Cocked Disbelieving Eyebrow held firm. I maintained eye contact and a stiff smile. I could tell this could make or break me, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t choose. I didn’t get that job.

I’m horrible with those black and white, you can only take 3 items on a desert island, your favorite food, music, author quizzes.  I don’t have one best friend, I’m fortunate enough to have many. Many, who through this 180 degree turn of pursuing my writing dreams have supported me.

We all go through tough times: death of a loved one, heartbreak, loss of income, illness. The human condition. But somehow, in this hyper filtered, social media driven world, we feel compelled to look, feel, sound and be GREAT 360 degrees, 24 hours, 7 days a week! Success all day, all the time! Seriously???

We’ve put ourselves on excessive display to our detriment. If I post, tweet, chat or gram, it’s got to be epic! Everybody can’t be on vacation, have well behaved children, no cellulite or wrinkles, the best meal ever, the most romantic proposal, the perfect house or spouse.

I get it. The medium cries for announcement. We’ve created a personal newsfeed. Breaking news is supposed to be dramatic. But at what expense? An increased narcissism that expects likes, hearts and comments just for living? And oftentimes we’re left feeling inadequate or left behind if our lives don’t measure up to what we see and read online. And if you can’t be real with your friends, who can you be real with?

It’s usually those small, vulnerable moments that bond you to another and make for lasting kinship. When you can tell your sister you’ve recently developed a slightly smelly left armpit and she can commiserate about changing hormones. When a college housemate hears you complain about your sweltering bedroom and sends you a fan. When you reminisce with your travel buddy about the trips you used to take together and she reassures you they will happen again.

I’m all for any tool that can promote communication, I just hope we don’t let it consume the beauty to be had in real life.